At the end of the tunnel

I try to break the boundaries preset before

Hoping out of life, I get much more than

What my family had before

Which wasn't much of anything

I need to put pride in front of our last name

I want to elevate ancestral pains

Clearly leave a legacy

My family name is to be worn beautifully

like woven cloth

Regain time wasted and hopes lost

It doesn't matter how swift I run the race

whether swift or slow

Life Ring

Clips from the past

 Play like movies in my head

The night of the living dead

Pondering what sin as a child I did

I wish I could unplug my brain

 Help my heart maintain

Like a computer and erase the errors

End shadowing terrors

Rid myself of torment and pain

I want to live a normal life

Protecting myself from opinions and unneeded advice

walk in my shoes

Down my road of life

Can you help me?

You can offer your sympathy 

What I need is empathy 

Reflections

As the record spins

Plays

I am listening

Reminds me of simpler days

Tears run down my face

Memories of the good times replaced

By the chaos of today

Good times

My mind chase

I want time machine

Go back into time and a place in my life

When love was innocent

Joy was care free

A time I was in awe of the discovery

Of me

Dreaming

When I grew up

What I wanted to be

Memories are like record players

Simple and care free

The way I used to be

Dyme ( A poem written for the international fellowship of poets and spoken word artists)

I left the club with a dyme
woke up to a penny
Maybe it would have been better not to have gotten any
Left the club with her at night all was alright
The beer goggles had me seeing 20/20, so I thought
A bad lesson learned which was taught
Man...after a couple of shots
I was seeing 10/2
Make you see things which aren't there
Do things you normally would not do
But the jokes on me, not you
Woke up in the morning not having a clue
who I was lying next to
Her eyes are brown, but the contacts were blue
Everything was fake, including her hair do
I thought I was laying with a buttercup, she looked like a do nut
Last night her boobs were perky, but in the morning sagging
Now the make up was off she looked like Bob Sagot
Her ass was padded undies which lied on the floor
After seeing this, I could no longer take anymore
I put my close on quietly and reached for the door
Saying next weekend I will be more careful, won't do this anymore
no more alcoholic binges for me, but
that next Saturday came
back at taking home a dyme who became a penny
once again

Blow Job ( a poem written for the 2nd annual Nastiest Poetry Event @ International fellowship of poets and spoken word artists

I love to lick his dick
It's like chocolate ice cream on a stick
Long and thick
I love the way it feels in my mouth
when I'm going down south
Feeling it pulsate on my tongue
as it moves in and out
I love being before him on my knees
If you know what i mean
Chicks that don't suck dick?
Do they still make these?
A concept foreign to me
These old models throw them out please
in with the new
throw them out...no doubt
we are familiar with the same dance and song
sucking dick is wrong
It's nasty, gross
A chick like me loves it most
Hey...don't knock my preference
an individual choice each woman must make
Some don't suck dick the right way
They look at it with a two minute delay
put in in their mouth and say,
"Ok"
 just can't do it and take it out
Some lick around the head
thinking they will get a man off
instead
they only get angry
We must learn how to suck a dick right...ladies
Then there are the ones who deep throat it
Put a dick deep in their mouth, until they choke on it
but make a quick note of this
whether it's lightly licking, or deep throating it till you choke

Blow jobs are a serious matter,no jokes

But whatever you do...make sure he wears a raincoat

HATER ( I dedicate this poem to my new found fb hater named Girlxs Jockin Hunter on fb)

When you woke up this morning, your thoughts were of only me
Hoping you can see what I see
Be what I be
But there is only one me

You know you hate to love me
Always consumed with thinking of me
Knowing I’m beautiful, saying I’m ugly
Your hatred is below me
If I had a penis, I’d tell you to blow me

If you have love for me just say it
Don’t be ashamed
I’m not stuck on myself
I don’t mind sharing the fame

Sharing the spotlight
I can give you pointers and insight
Oh how to be like me
If need be
Pimpin like being Cookee ain’t easy

So, when you feel like you have lost your way
And feel bitter at the end of your day
And want to put the hate away
Hit me up,  and say
“Cookee I don’t want to be like Mike, I wanna be like you”
I tell you” I’ll see what I can do”

Hurdles

I’ve come a long way

Still have miles to go

Crossed over more hurdles than you will ever know

Hurdles disrupted the flow

But I am slowly making through

Becoming someone new

New avenues to pursue

Keeping blinders on, only seeing forward

Trying to keep my life steady and in order

Now I’m more mature and older

Taking time to pat myself on the shoulder

Can’t control people who hate me

For me God has a marquee

To be elevated to what I am supposed to be

Greatness of a higher degree

I will build a legacy for my daughter

Women who are go getters

Trend setters

Heavy hitters

I want her to say

She has crossed over many hurdles than anyone knows

Hurdles didn’t disrupt her flow

She’s slowly making it through

Becoming the woman I knew she would

Being the best she could

? Part 2

What's done?
Will you be one of the accountable ones?
Who will you  have to answer to?
The memories of my misery you have caused?
The neglect and pain without pause
My lost soul lost
How can you walk around with your head held high
knowing inside you made someone die?
Distorting truth into lies
Who will you answer to, because I can't sleep at night
from your darkened misguided light?
Maintaining any of my sanity is a fight
You sleep well, you're snuggled in, 

You have sweet dreams 

Your covers are warm and tight
How could you act like nothing ever happened?

I Hate You

 

I hate what I see in the mirror

Chasing down 80 proof fears

with shot glasses of tears

My heart has been aching for years

All of my makeup covering the

inside I feel ugly

People's words destroy me

My heartaches seeing smiling faces of people happy

Wondering why joy by passed me?

I'm a square peg trying to fit into a round hole

Trying to hang on to truths told

Me!

Trying to do good gets old

My faith is failing

or maybe

I'm failing my faith

Either way I'm insecure of my fate

I made a lot of mistakes